Stay at Home Mommy! ...it's been 6 months!

Kali Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mommy - - - 6 months in:

My sweet little Norah is a moving, grooving, fun little girl and chasing her around has become my world since becoming a stay-at-home mom! I have to admit it's not without it's challenges and feelings of being completely overwhelmed. You can't get anything done that you would like to and concentrating when she's awake is a thing of the past. At first I was afraid to take Norah out by myself; fearful that she would break down, I wouldn't know how to handle it and that people would stare and judge. That feeling slowly went away but there were other negative thoughts that set in....

I will say for the first 3-4 months that I felt like a failure as a human being. I felt like I let my family down by not being able to provide for them financially, that I wasn't taking Norah out enough, that she wasn't socializing enough, that I didn't give her enough attention, etc. I was also worried/slightly depressed about the fact that I don't get to see the same group of people everyday. No one was worried about where I was or what I was doing. However, I was mostly scared to not live up to the 'pinterest mommy' mentality, attitude and accomplishments. I have learned so much about myself and about other people in this 6-month journey. It's not about 'looking' good! I tried the the whole paint your own pumpkins for fall and decorate a pumpkin with your families hands thing this year...and you know what it accomplished??? A rotting pumpkin sitting on my mantle. I did this in hopes of appearing like that omnipotent pinterest mommy but it really just made me walk around thinking something stank like POOP in my house, which absolutely drove this preggo nose CRAZY! This was entirely representative of my attitude towards becoming a stay-at-home mom. Being a mom and a parent is about encouraging others, including your children and other moms/parents, going through what you have, are and will go through. It's about community of support that we should all give each other! I LOVE that part of it! I hope to be even more engaged with other moms and groups in the future BUT grasping that concept was INVALUABLE for me!

I am absolutely 100% sure that me not having a corporate America job is what is best for our family, in the here and now. I feel like a better person, I know I'm happier and Paul and I are elated that the one 'training' our kids how to be individuals is yours truly! So many people make it work the other way, but I see the challenges that these folks face and can only think back to how hard it was for me personally. All of the sicknesses and feeling guilty for having having to make the decision to take off work or be a mom. It sucked! I'm very humbled by the people who make it work so seamlessly and seemingly effortlessly because I KNOW that both choices have their challenges and downsides.

I do miss not having a 'real' job that I get to sit down in 'important' meetings and talk about changing the world through our role. However, with my bookkeeping/accounting business up and running I have to say that it is the best of both worlds. I get to do accounting work from home, when I have a spare second or two, and still provide a little bit of income for our family. Although I must admit that I'm very grateful for Paul's new job as Regional Sales Manager with WIKA Instruments that supports our growing little family! Without him my role as a stay-at-home mom would not be possible. He is doing so well with all the transitions in both of our lives, and I am so PROUD to call him my husband and our girls' FATHER! :)

I'm very excited to see how adding a new little one to the mix of things is going to shake things up around here! I finally feel like I have a relatively good grip on what needs to be in order to keep things moving. I feel like I've taken some of the burden away from Paul, although having a pregnant wife is not without it's own burdens. ;) Planning meals and making sure things are 'handled' as Olivia Pope would say is my normal routine. I love that I have the time to be able to plan and think about what to buy at the grocery store instead of throwing whatevers in reach in the 15 minute shopping spree in the cart because Norah's pissy and tired and I'm pissy and tired and the mentality is just to 'get 'er done'.

I went through the 'oh my goodness' how can I <3 another human being as much as I love this sweet face! But that passed, right along with the gas I've been experiencing this pregnancy. I think I could belch ANYONE under the table these days! Gross, I know! I kind of laughed when Paul went through the same worrying about his ability to love someone as much as Norah more recently; because I remember how overwhelming that feeling was and how I just realized that your heart grows to accommodate another bambino in the crazy world we call life....kind of like the Grinch!

I'm sure I'll be on a steep learning curve as this new one enters the world...but this mommy is up for the challenge and ready for anything! :)